CULTIVATING SELF-CONTROL (by VICTOR COUNTED): August 2008

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

CULTIVATING SELF - CONTROL .

Cultivating

Self

Control

AGINA VICTOR COUNTED

CHAPTER PAGES

PREFACE

1. INTRODUCTION

2. WHAT IS SELF-CONTROL

3. MAJOR AREAS WE NEED SELF-CONTROL

4. SELF-CONTROL ON SEX

5. SELF-CONTROL IN MARRIAGE

6. HOW DO WE ACQUIRE SELF-CONTROL

7. WHY YOU CAN’T ACHIEVE THIS AIM

8. EFFECTS OF LACK OF SELF-CONTROL

9. HELP ONE ANOTHER ALWAYS TO ACHIEVE THIS AIM

10. ACT OF SELF-CONTROL IS BEEN GOOD

11. BE COURAGEOUS THROUGH SELF-CONTROL

12. IS SELF-CONTROL A WEAKNESS OR STRENGTH?

13. FINALLY CULTIVATING SELF-CONTROL

14. EPILOGUE

PREFACE

CHAPTER 0NE

INTRODUCTION

As a God fearing, creative, innovative and inventive visionary, I believe life for me is about a seat of vision, with the desire to achieve and the determination to build a future generation of God-fearing, responsible and inventive entrepreneurs. The purpose of this book is a direct and simple one, that is, to help both the young and elderly ones to live happy and effective lives. In other words, this book will explain and demonstrate one of the most important and valuable laws of being oneself and living a satisfactory and fulfilled life; and that is; “Cultivating self control”.

This book is published in response to the suggestion often made by people who think that they can’t control their emotion or passion for something. As a youth, and from my general observation, I really wish many elderly people had learnt this creative and dynamic ways of cultivating self-control in their ‘early ages’. Simply put, that could have saved so much heartache in the path of their lives and prevented eventual failures, many end up becoming.

Here is a practical action and personal-improvement manual. It is written with a sole purpose, of helping the readers achieve a happy, satisfying, worthwhile life. It tells how to control our emotions and hold us from doing the wrong thing regardless how painful it might be not doing it. How to get along with people, how to get along well in studies, one’s job, be in good term with God, your sex life and how to deal successfully with life’s problems generally.

I thoroughly and enthusiastically believe in certain demonstrated principles which, when practised, result in a victorious and peaceful life. My aim is to set them forth in this book in a logical, simple and understanding manner so that the reader feeling a sense of need may learn a practical method by which he can build himself or herself, with God’s help, the kind of life he desires.

If this book is read thoughtfully, the thoughts expressed carefully absorbed, and if the principles and formulae expounded in it are applied with consistency, the fruit would be an amazing improvement within oneself. By using the techniques outlined here one can modify or change one’s present circumstances by assuming control over them rather than continuing to be directed by them. Also, one’s relationship with other people will improve. These will necessarily lead to one becoming a more popular, esteemed and well-liked person. By mastering these principles you will enjoy a delightful sense of achievement. You may experience a new and keen pleasure in living.

I need not to point out that the powerful principles outlined in this book are not any invention, but are given to us by the greatest teacher who ever lived and still lives. This book teaches, applied Christianity, a simple yet scientific system of practical techniques of “Cultivating Self-Control”.

So, try the best you can to make the most of what follows.

AGINA VICTOR COUNTED

CHAPTER TWO

WHAT IS SELF-CONTROL

Self–Control is a phenomenon, which can be seen from our understanding of the two words “SELF” and “CONTROL” that make up the one word.

SELF: Self has to do with you, in essence that is “I and Me” it is that you that makes you who you really are, it pains me so much why some young people don’t understand this, self is actually a person’s nature that is a person’s special qualities, one’s own personality that makes you who you are and makes you different from others. May also be those feelings, that you alone know about yourself it might be internal or external and even positive or negative feelings.

CONTROL: Literally control means the ability of a person to have authority or power over something or someone, I think this is where many human race fall victim of controlling their feelings for something or someone. It all starts when we have, that aggressive spirit to say “NO” to what we don’t want, take for an instance Joseph in the bible.

SELF-CONTROL

Therefore is the control of one’s own feelings that is, that authority an individual has over his or her feelings. These feelings can be internal or external, because there are some feelings we have that are so open (external) that others around you can feel with you and there are some even, we don’t recognize for what they are until you loose the power to control them, these then becomes part of your life and you think “YES” this is my normal life, but friends, it is not, you are just faking your fate.

Most people believe that it’s only in our sexual lives that we need self-control. No our sexual life actually is the least in the areas we need to individually control ourselves.

This is because once you can have total control of other factors that will be disclosed later; all other moral and sexual laxity will be controlled normally.

CHAPTER THREE

MAJOR AREAS WE NEED SELF-CONTROL

We must try to always have a total control on these things listed below and know when to stop. And when what we are doing is beneficial to us, and those around us. When all these are in control our sexual and social life will definitely change because of the kind of moral values we now have.

OUR SLEEPING: I know to some of my readers this caption sounds very funny, but I think our sleeping habits plays a very important role in our lives as individuals. For example, when we lack the power to control our sleep, we find ourselves sleeping in classroom, vehicles, on a short visit to someone’s house while watching television and even during church service, and most people don’t keep to appointments because of inability to control there sleeping habits.

Some people love to sleep. Sleep is really meant to refresh the body and prepare it for more work. But the way some indulge in it, it has become an end in itself. If you sleep too much, you abuse the purpose for which God created it. There are some students who are praying and fasting for good grades in their examination yet they cannot stay awake to burn the midnight oil. How then can you succeed? If you want to pass, study your books. If you desire to make good grades, then stay awake and study at night. If you desire to excel, then exceed the sacrifices and study habits of all your colleagues. Some people who are self-employed have allowed sleep to rob them of business opportunities. If you sleep when you should be working what do you expect? “Of cause Failure”. Ever since you have been sleeping, what has come out of it?
Sleep is the tool of a lazy man and poverty is the consequence while hunger is the punishment. The easiest way, to lack and suffering is to fold your arms and do nothing. A lazy man is a specialist in much sleep and unnecessary talking. “Love not sleep, lest thou come to poverty; open thine eyes and thou shall be satisfied with bread”. (Pro. 20: 13).

One of the commonest features of a lazy man is oversleeping. An idle man lives to eat and sleep. Even though he has right to the best that God has in store for him like everyone. He will likely die in reproach as a result of his uncontrollable appetite for sleep.

We must try to shake ourselves free from the dominance and power of sleep, by been determined to control sleep or better still the spirit behind sleeping, like I did, because if I didn’t control my sleeping habits may be this book might not be completed so soon.

In conclusion, awake today and arise to your responsibilities and you will proper.

OUR SPEECH AND SIGNS OR SYMBOLS: Take for an instance today most young adults and teenagers speak the computer language, to these youths they are moving with the age and as such in vogue.

To the well brought-up, the language is gutter and stinks of waste. We should learn to speak like Christians. We should try to stop using languages that are obscene or lewd sort of.

This is also true of the sign we make among ourselves. When the urge to make these comes, we should learn to plead the blood of Jesus to take control over our hearts and minds, and wash any stinking thought that comes.

Most youths nowadays wear tattoos as a sign of belonging to the happening society. But have you ever tried to ask the meaning of most symbols you wear and in fact the messages these symbols send out. Generally they connote a lot of meaning, most of which mean “I am wild”, I guess most of us that already has tattoos won’t like to be seen as been wild and ‘hot chick’ or ‘rude boy’ kind of person, I can recall of a lady that had tattoos all over her body and later gave her life to Christ and was married to a Pastor, so how do you see a Pastor’s wife with tattoos all over her body preaching, a visitor to the church might not like to come back, because the tattoo has already passed a message to him or her.

Generally tattoos suggests a feeling that “YOU ARE WILD”. And I pray and hope that people will learn from others mistakes.

OUR CHOICE OF ENTERTAINMENT: Nowadays both parents in most homes are busy either in their offices, shops and markets or even outside the country while the youths are left at the mercy of the television.

Days are gone when acquiring a video machine is expensive. Today with DSTV, HOLLYWOOD and NOLLYWOOD movies, a child is exposed to various violence and immorality without any concern to what they do to the child’s mind.

Some broadcasting commission cannot control what you watch, it is your decision alone to decide that these films and movies are too ‘raw’ to stimulate and then stay away.

Am not saying “music is bad”, but we must learn to listen to music that inspires us to behave positively and not those that will increase ones madness. For instance I remember this song by a popular artist in my country, I won’t like to mention name, the song just interprets to go mad and scatter everything around you, so brothers and sisters how do you think that this kind of song can influence you positively, the funniest thing is that when this particular music plays, is just like magic, people starts scattering everywhere “it once happened to me”.

I think most of our youths need to know that music is an intoxicant. Bad music brings about bad behaviours while good ones send out good signal to our brains.

Furthermore, sometimes I wonder how viewers are affected by a steady diet of movie and music they watch and listen to. Meanwhile I think that movie and music violence causes people to act aggressively and to be less sympathetic towards victims of real-life violence. It is also clear that the portrayal of sex as seen in movies of our time promotes promiscuity and undermines moral standards.

OUR DRESS CODE: This cannot be over emphasized. The church, the schools, and some parents having been fighting this battle but they seem not to be winning. Girls are guiltier of this offence than boys are, am not trying to be partial here, but we all know it’s true. We must dress to please God; I think by having this on our mind always, we can control our dressing code.

OUR RELATIONSHIPS AND ASSOCIATIONS: We must try always to be in a relationship that will always please God. The basic rule of every relationship we keep at this stage is “if I cannot discuss with my parents, guardians, wife or husband what my friends and I did or do always when we are out, then the friendship is not worth keeping”. To be in a relationship you must weigh the moral values to see how it can help you advance in life. And bear in mind that “if a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone; one should keep his friendships in constant repair”.

BOOKS WE READ: Read books or literature that will help you advance in life positively, I pity most youths that read books or magazines that portray stinking images, that will only contaminate their minds and it gives a room for obscene and lewd suggestions, jokes and statements. This is not a feature of a good person. And it makes you commit all sorts of sexual immorality, which is the worst of it all.

FOODS AND DRINKS WE TAKE: This is very certain to everybody. Like the foods we eat, I guess that most of us that are obese need nobody to tell them, to watch their eating habit. But apart from been obese, we should have a schedule of the food we eat. And stop eating whatever we see on the streets to avoid getting ill.

After many campaign against drug abuse, young people all over the world were admonished. Just say No! How much better things would be if everyone would just say ‘NO’ not only to drug abuse, but also to unhealthy alcohol intake, to unwise or immoral life-styles to dishonest business practices, and to “the desires of the flesh” [Romans 13:14] Yet, who will claim that saying no is always easy?

I remember this saying “drink but don’t get drunk” this applies to everybody. We should form the habit of controlling the ratio of which we drink, especially those that contains alcohol, please we should avoid been drunk, because if you are drunk, your no longer yourself you see yourself doing strange things and in fundamental nature you are mocked. I remember what my dad used to tell me, he says, “if you are drunk you will be mocked and the Holy Spirit will departs from you” ever since I was a child, I took that word very serious. And also apart from that the bible also says, do not get drunk, which leads to debauchery, instead be filled with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5: 18).

OUR THOUGHTS: We should learn to always say “Holy Spirit take control over my thoughts” because the Holy Spirit plays a very vital role in our thoughts; He can help ‘delete every stinking and dirty thought that has been saved in our memory’. And in order to avoid dirty thoughts we should apply the principles of cultivating self – control. For example we should avoid been drunk, be wise on the kind of movies you watch, music you listen to and books you read.

THE WAY WE TALK/ TEMPER CONTROL: Some find it challenging to limit their consumption of words; others have trouble guarding their tongue, so they often stumble in word to deal with such deficiencies required for diligent effort in cultivating self – control, WHY? James 3: 2 realistically admits: “We all stumble in word, this one is a perfect man, able to bridle his whole body” still others feel a strong urge to gamble or they may find it difficult to control their temper. It may take similar weaknesses. Although we can make significant progress now, wrong desires will be permanently eradicated only when we reach perfection. In the meantime, striving to exercise self-control will help us to avoid falling back into a sinful pattern of life. As the struggle continues, let us assist one another not to give up.

In conclusion to this let’s ‘absorb’ this word of wisdom as if it was meant for us “whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayers, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil”.

In conclusion lets not forget the loving advise of Saint James, I quote; “does anyone think he is religious? If he does not control his tongue, his religion is worthless and he deceives himself.”
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OUR DREAMS: I think this is the part that really affects every youth in our society. We should know that is only God that makes ‘that dream’ come through. Is not a do or die affair, you just do your best and leave the rest to God, live an upright life and always pray for your dreams. I assure you before you know it; the dreams will come to pass. So we should control ourselves and please learn not to blame anybody for destroying or diverting your dream.

OUR FANTASIES: We should not let our fantasies destroy us; there is a need to control them no matter how the pressure is. Some people derive fantasies that lead them to live ‘dirty and stinking’’ lifestyle. As Christians we should learn to have fantasies that will enhance our spiritual life and make us be in good term with God.

URGE TO SPEND MONEY: This leads to wretchedness and creates room for poverty. There are so many young men and women that have this urge to spend. From my observation I found out that most of these people acquire their wealth illegally. Most of them ends up been duped, ‘I guess nemesis surely cut up with them’, that’s certain and natural, and that is why there is a need to cultivate self-control in the urge for money. But to those who acquire there money legally, they should plan before spending or investing, but I doubt; hardly you find someone that suffered and earn his money and not use it properly ‘HARDLY’. Because no matter what happens, he still remember his or her background.

In conclusion let’s not forget to bear these things in mind in our everyday life and learn to have a total control on these things listed above and know when to stop.

Be wise to know when what you are doing is beneficial to you and people around you. When all these are in control our sexual and social life will definitely change because of the kind of moral values we now have.

CHAPTER FOUR

SELF-CONTROL ON SEX

Another area in which exercising self-control is difficult for most of us is in the matter of sexuality, human sexuality is part of how God made us, yet, some have a particularly difficult time keeping sex in it proper place, in harmony with God’s standards. This difficulty may be made worse because they have an unusual strong sexual drive.

We live in a sex-crazy world that tends to fan the flames of passion in many ways this can create quite a problem for Christians who want to remain single – at least for a time – so as to serve God free of the distraction of marriage {1 Corinthians 7: 32, 33, 37, 38} But in Harmony with the scriptural injunctions that “it is better to marry than to be inflamed with passion”. They may decide to marry which is honourable, at the same time, they determined to marry “only in the Lord”, as the scripture counsel {1 Corinthians 7: 9, 39}. We can be sure that God rejoices over their interest in upholding his righteous principles. Their fellow Christians count it a joy to be associated with true worshippers of such high moral standards and integrity.

What if no appropriate partner can be found? Imagine the potential frustration of a person who desires to marry but who has not been able to do so! He or she may see his friends marry and achieve a measure of happiness, while he is still seeking an appropriate partner, for some in that situation; the unclean habit like masturbation may become an ongoing problem. In any case, no Christian wants inadvertently to dishearten another who is struggling to remain chaste, we could unintentionally cause discouragement if we made such inconsiderate comments like; “when are you going to get married?” That might be said no ill in tent, but much better for us to manifest self-control in the sense of guarding our tongue! {Psalm 39: 1}. Those among us who are remaining chaste while in a single state deserve our warmest commendation rather than say what might be discouraging we could strive to be encouraging for instance; we could make an effort to include single individuals when a small group of mature ones gather for a meal or wholesome Christian association.

We are all sexual creatures. That is nothing to be ashamed of – we were made so by the Holy and loving God. The idea that sex and sexual feelings are evil is a distortion of the devil. History reveals countless individuals who were shipwrecked by refusing to come to grips with their sex drive. Some try to pretend it isn’t there; others abuse it to their own destruction. Like everything else in life, sex has its place and proper function.

The Bible makes it clear that the only place for sexual expression is marriage. History shows the untold human suffering that is caused when that standard is violated. Marriage is God’s plan for us and is still the best way for anyone to express his or her sex drive. Sex is a marital act by which a couple demonstrates their love to each other. Sex is not for the unmarried.

I can see “sexual revolution” coming. I know that although it will never be approved by a Bible-believing Church, but it will have a great influence on many of the people in our Churches. This is about happening in our generation.

And finally we should strive to keep ourselves sexually pure in order to open the door to a lifetime of meaningful sexual enjoyment when married.

CHAPTER FIVE

SELF-CONTROL IN MARRIAGE

Being married does not in itself eliminate the need for self–control as it relates to sex, for example, the sexual needs of husband and wife may differ greatly or the physical condition of one mate may at times make normal sexual relations difficult or even impossible. Perhaps because of prior experiences, one mate may find it challenging to obey the injunction, “let the husband render to his wife her due, but let the wife also do likewise to her husband”. In such a situation, the other mate may need to exercise added self-control. But both can bear in mind Paul’s loving advice to married Christians, “do not be depriving each other of it, except by mutual consent for an appointed time, that you may devote time to pray and may come together again, that Satan may not keep tempting you for your lack of self–regulation.” Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the Wife unto the husband. The wife hath no power of her own body, and likewise also the husband hath no power of his own body, but defraud ye not one another, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and come together again that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.(1 Corinthians 7:3-5).

The sexual act is the divine oil that lubricates the ‘mechanical’ structure upon which a home is built. The end result, when it is satisfactorily enjoyed by the husband and wife, is peace, joy, love, harmony, stability and effectiveness in the roles performed by each partner in the home. The genesis of most marital disagreements and divorce could be traced to sexual maladjustments. A couple with a successful or satisfactory bedroom management most often stay together.

I believe the two best safeguards ways to help a couple keep their sacred wedding vows and maintain sexual purity all through their marriage is: having a strong spiritual life and having a healthy, expressive sexual relationship. From my research I found out that sexual dysfunction or disharmony is the cause of the breakdown between divorced couples. We can see how powerful an influence sex is to a marriage. For everyone who desire peace, joy, harmony and tranquillity in their homes, put in practice what is written above. Listen to what the Lord commended in Eph. 5: 22- 27 “wives submit yourselves to your own husbands, as the church submits to the Lord”, likewise as the husband should respect and love their wives. And for some husbands; don’t just pounce on your wife. Treat her with love and respect, and take time to arouse her.

The secret of peace and harmony in our marriage is entrenched in God’s word as referred to above. The best that God has for our homes is that our home is free from chaos, anarchy and troubles, but this can only be experienced by adhering to God’s principles of marriage. Marriage is an institution created by God and He alone has the final say on the subject. The wife must forget the women liberation teachings and must realise that she is not in bondage. Do not try to pattern your life after others. You can only receive challenges and inspirations from Godly men and women but follow the Lord and God’s word. There can’t be peace and harmony when the home has two head ‘where you think, see, hear’. No matter your position, influence and academic qualifications, God’s word says they are irrelevant as far as authority is concerned in your home. The Bible says submit to your own husband even if other women’s husband may be submitting to you as a boss in your office.

For the husband who desire peace and harmony, God’s word says “love your wives as Christ love the Church and gave Himself for it”. For the Husbands, God’s word instructed us to love our wives, to nourish them and cherish them. Christ loves us and gave us everything. Nothing must be too much to do for your wife. Give her your time, money, attention, and affection. Some may cherish other women because of their fine dressings without knowing that their wives can look better if only they can provide for them. Please take care of your wife and nourish her. Also never fail to apply the principles of self-control while passing through all these problems in your marriage.

How grateful married couples can be if both can exercise proper self-control in this most intimate relationship. At the same time, they do well to show understanding to fellow worshippers who are still struggling to manifest it in that area. We should never forget to pray that God will give our spiritual brothers and sisters insight, courage and determination to continue their fight to manifest self-control and to take steps to overcome improper desires (Philippians 4: 6- 7).

CHAPTER SIX

HOW DO WE ACQUIRE SELF-CONTROL

Habits have tremendous gravity pull – more than most people realise or would admit. Breaking deeply imbedded habitual tendencies such aggression, promiscuity, greed and gluttony that violate that basic principle “self-control” involves more than a little willpower. It takes a tremendous effort, but once we break out of the gravity pull, our freedom takes on a whole new dimension. Habits are powerful factors in our lives. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly express our character and produce our effectiveness or ineffectiveness.

Horace Mann, the great educator once said, “Habits are like a cable. We weave a strand of it everyday and soon it cannot be broken.” I personally do not agree with the last part of his expression. I know they can be broken. Habits can be learned and unlearned. But I also know it isn’t a quick fix. It involves a process and a tremendous commitment.

Since all imperfect humans have difficulty exercising self-control, we should be interested in learning how to win any personal battle that we face. The Bible tells us about people in the past who strive to serve God but they sometimes had difficulties in saying No. Remember David and his sin of adultery with Bath-Sheba, it led to the death of their Child conceived in adultery and of Bathsheba’s husband, both of whom were innocent (2 Samuel 11: 1 – 27, 12: 15 – 18). Or think of the Apostle Paul, who openly confessed, “for the good that I wish I do not do, but the bad that I do not wish is what I practice.”(Romans 7: 19) Do you at times feel similar frustration? Paul continued. “I really delight in the law of God according to the Man I am within but behold in my members another law warning against the law of my mind and leading me captive to sin’s law that is in my members. Miserable means that I am! Who will rescue me from the body undergoing this death? (Romans 7: 22 – 24) Biblical examples should strengthen our determination never to give up in our struggle to gain greater self-control.

Self-control, which includes the ability to say No! Is mentioned at (2 peter 1: 5– 7) along with faith virtue, knowledge and endurance, Godly devotion, brotherly affection, and love. None of these other desirable qualities are wholly inborn, they must be cultivated to manifest in significant measure, and requires determination and effort, so should we expect self-control to be any easier.

Thousands of people may feel that they have no problem with self-control. They go unknowingly conducting themselves in accord and giving little consideration to the consequences, to themselves or to others (Jude 10) the lack of ability and willingness to say no is more evident now then ever before. It is an indication that we are indeed living in “the last days” of which Paul spoke when he foretold these; “know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come, for men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, false accusers, fierce, despisers of those that are good”. (2 Timothy 3: 1 – 3).

Christians today are all aware of the challenge posed by the need for self–control, like Paul, they are conscious of the struggle between a desire to please God by living according to his standards and the course that their imperfect flesh may urge them to take. For this reason they have long been interested in how to win this tug of war. I read an article some years back concerning “controlling our emotions”, I remember the writer’s suggestion to readers, to always keep in mind “Philippians 4: 8”, the divine advice in that text is still valid. Although originally offered some 2000 years ago and probably more difficult to follow now than it was then. Nevertheless, Christians must strive hard to say no to worldly desires, and aware that by so doing, they are saying “Yes” to their Creator.

Self-control is mentioned at Galatians 5: 22, 23 as part of “the fruits of the Holy Spirit” if we manifest this quality along with “love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, and mildness”, we will be benefited greatly. Doing so will prevent us, as Peter explained from becoming “either inactive or unfruitful” in our service to God. {2 Peter 1: 8} But we should not despair or condemn ourselves if we fail to display these qualities as rapidly and as fully as we would like. You have probably observed that in school one student learns more quickly than another does. Or on a job person learns a new task more quickly than others. The important thing is to keep cultivating Godly, in the best way we can. This we can do by taking full advantage of the help Jesus Christ provides through his word and congregation. Speed in achieving our goal is less important then determined efforts to keep making progress.

Despite being listed last in the qualities produced by the spirit, self-control is in no way less important than the others quite on the contrary, we should keep in mind that all “the works of the flesh” could be avoided if we had perfect self-control. Yet, imperfect humans are prone to give in to some form of “the works of the flesh like fornication, homosexualism, adultery, uncleanness, loose conduct, Idolatry, practice of spiritism, enmities, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, contentions, divisions, sect” {Galatians 5: 19,20}. We must therefore constantly put up a fight, being determined to root out negative tendencies from both heart and mind.

Some Christians have more difficult time exercising self-control than others do, WHY? Parental training or past experiences may contribute to the situation. If cultivating and displaying self-control has not seemed to be a problem for us, that is a reason for Joy. But we certainly should be compassionate and understanding when dealing with those who have more difficulty in exercising it, even if their lack of self – control causes us some personal discomfort, in view of our own imperfection, who among us has any reason to show a self-righteous attitude? – Romans 3: 23, Ephesians 4: 2 to Illustrate – We may know that some fellow Christians who have given up tobacco or the use of “recreational” drugs may at times still have a strong craving for them. Or some find it challenging to limit their consumption of food or alcoholic beverages others have trouble guarding their tongue, so they often stumble in word to dial with such deficiencies required for diligent effort in cultivating self – control, WHY? James 3: 2 realistically admits: “We all stumble in word, this one is a perfect man, able to bridle his whole body” still others feel a strong urge to gamble or they may find it difficult to control their temper. It may take similar weaknesses. Although we can make significant progress now, wrong desires will be permanently eradicated only when we reach perfection. In the meantime, striving to exercise self-control will help us to avoid falling back into a sinful pattern of life. As the struggle continues, let us assist one another not to give up.

LESSONS TO LEARN:

First of all we have to put in practise some simple dynamic ways; we can also acquire the Spirit of Self-control. That has been over-looked by most people. These areas are; Reading the Bible always, not just reading the Bible like some do, but meditating on the words therein, praying without ceasing and never fail taking every situation to God in prayer; Though, “Everyone is capable of praying, but many have the mistaken idea that they are not called to prayer. Just as we are called to salvation, we are called to prayer… Prayer is nothing more than turning our heart toward God and receiving in turn His Love”.

We should also learn to join good, profitable societies in school, Church and our Neighbourhood.

Please we should learn to listen to good music and watch good Christian movies, spend less time on the internet, unless necessary for our projects or business.

We should endeavour to get rid of wickedness, stop grumbling against God and man, halt unforgiving heart, cease envy and jealously, stop gossiping and all related behaviour, listen and obey your Elders and get rid of unnecessary desires and wants especially those beyond your reach, halt the Spirit of anger and revenge, desist the Spirit of Lust. And finally never forget to pray and ask for the Spirit of self-control and it shall be given unto you (Matthew 7: 7). Practising all this vital rules will change your moral perception, and get you on the runway of living a self-controlled, happy and successful life.

CHAPTER SEVEN

WHY YOU CAN’T ACHIEVE THIS AIM

Some of the reasons (hindrances) why most of us can’t achieve this aim of living a self-controlled life are as follows;

PRIDE: One of the greatest thing that hinders the spirit of self-control is pride. Often time we perceive that God is speaking to us but we do not obey because of the fear of failure which is rooted in pride. We are so proud that we do not want to be identified with unpopular opinion. We are afraid of ridicule and criticism.

A proud man esteems himself so highly and sees himself as one who knows everything. A proud man assumes a superior position before others and sees himself beyond their correction. A proud man is blinded by his own pride; he justifies the pride until the pride finally tears him down.

Pride is one of the most terrible sin in the life of any man. For this is one of the rare sins, that is so hidden and deceptive, to the point that the carrier may not be aware of its presence.

Pride manifest in so many ways. Not just in outlook. It is rooted in the heart. It manifests in speeches and actions. When you no longer think that a particular message passed… is meant for you and you quickly shift it to others. When you think some writers are too inferior to pass a message to you. “What will he say that I do not know” is the question of a proud man.

Pride makes a man feel bigger, than he actually is. A proud man sees himself far better than others; pride creates inordinate ambitions in a man. But humility always precedes promotion. Remember God resist the proud and gives grace to the humble.

One can conclude therefore, that a proud man is not a wise man and cannot become one. He has a sense of complacency. Thomas Edison says “show me a man who is thoroughly satisfied with himself and I will show you a failure.” This is to say that a proud man is destined to fail.

So beware! Watch your reaction when others are trying to correct or advise you. Learn to embrace rebuke and take to correction. Ralph Mahoney said “Don’t let pride paralyze you.” Pride paralyzes and destroys a man.

PREFERNCE FOR PEOPLE: Until you are free from the opinion of men and their criticisms you will never be able to do the will of God for your life. Many of us are afraid to do what God says because we are afraid of what others will say about us. Some cannot live a self-controlled life because it might not please their friends or elders.

Ralph Mahoney said I quote; some do come to me and ask how I knew God was talking to him. “I reply. I can’t always be sure. Often I am not sure. I test it out. I try it. I check out the facts with others it might involve”. You need to test the world ‘as well’ without fear or preference for men.

Do not be afraid of criticism or persecutions from people if you turn to live a self-controlled life. The vision may not speak now but at the end it shall speak.

PRECONCEPTIONS: Most of the time we have a preconceived idea or notion about self-control. Some of these preconceptions are based on our experiences and thinking. But the preconceptions might be a complete misconception and that can undo God’s plan for our life.

Let’s approach God in our quiet time as one willing to be transformed. When God glimpse our readiness, preparedness and willingness to have the Spirit of self-control, He will be ready to feed us with His Spirit “self-control”.

CHAPTER EIGHT

EFFECTS OF LACK OF SELF-CONTROL

Lack of self-control can lead us to so many defects, which affects our moral life negatively. Briefly let’s share these views and find ways we can eliminate them.

The result of not having self-control can lead to the following emotional trauma:

AGGRESSION: We can define aggression as the feelings of anger and hatred that may result in threatening or violent behaviour. Lack of self-control leads so many to do what they don’t want to do. For example getting angry on something that is not worth it will simply destroy us and make us no good, so many lives have been wasted, simply because the ‘victim’ refused to say NO to the spirit of aggression, and fails to control him or herself. We should please bear in mind “that for us to live a happy life we need to be happy”. As Christian we should always learn to live a happy life.

PROMISCUITY: Most of our young people today are been seen as “promiscuous men/women”. Some young and elderly people have been addicted to multiple sex partners, because they fail to apply the principle of ‘cultivating self-control’ which is a vital key to a successful and profitable lifestyle that brings out our real-self. Most of us think that is only ‘parent’s neglect’ that contributes to increase in prostitution and drug abuse, but most times because we fail to acknowledge the spirit of self-control.

According to a doctor in India, he said that “our society is losing its cultural moorings.” A film I watched said that “the combination of increased drug use and greater sexual promiscuity is yet another sign that India is sinking into ‘Western debauchery’.”

Hu Peicheng, secretary-general of the China Sexology Association in Beijing, noted: “Before in our society, we had a sense of right and wrong. Now, we can do whatever we want”. An article in the magazine China Today put it this way: “Society is growing ever more tolerant towards extramarital affairs. “It seems everyone is taking their clothes off and using sex as a sales tool,” observed on an email newsletter post recently. Little more than a generation ago such actions would have caused moral outrage. Today, we are bombarded with sexual imagery from every conceivable angle and pornography has planted itself firmly in mainstream, which makes most people, victims of sexual immorality.

GLUTTONY: This is the act of drinking or eating too much. This is a weakness that seems hard to eliminate among our youths. We should always avoid taking excess of anything even something we are addicted to. Drinking can only make us to be mocked and the same applies to eating. As Christians the Bible teaches not to drink in excess, in other not to be mocked by people of the world.

GREED: Everywhere the standards of social behaviour already in decline were devastated. If the politicians and generals had treated the millions of people under their care like animals… what do you expect? In some African countries where politics is the main source to quick-wealth, ‘politricians’ like they call them force themselves into a governmental post, just to make money, forgetting the main reason why they are on those seats. Really is a problem yet to be tacked with; how I wish most of our politicians must have gone through the lessons or learnt the moral aspects of life first before been given a chance to contest for any post.

We fail to bear in mind that all of us will die one day and will all go back to our creator the same way we came. If our leaders we remember the story of the wisest man ever lived “Solomon” after all his wealth firm, woman he admitted and said ‘that all is vanity’. We should learn from Solomon. “Wealth is like sand on our palm which can be blown away by the wind gradually, unnoticed.” We should always be honest to one another.

ENEMY OF GOD: Been an enemy of God simply means not been in good term with God, this is the worst of it all, simply put; ‘you are just like an empty vessel and devil’s prey’. The Bible teaches us not to despise the Lord’s discipline. How can our young people keep their ways pure? Living according to God’s word. Seek Him with all your heart; and he will not let you stray from His commands.

I will show you what it is like to hear God’s word and put them into practice. It is like a man building a house that dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But to those who hear God’s word, and does not put them into practice are like those who build a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed. Perhaps you are familiar with some children’s song using this parable.

How are we building the houses of our lives? Are we laying a sure foundation by hearing and doing God’s word? What about the foundation we’re laying for our young ones. Are we raising them on the solid rock of the Scriptures so they are anchored to withstand the current trends of a rapidly declining morality? Finally for us to be in good term with God we need the spirit of self-control, this will help us in building the houses of our lives on a sure foundation. And help us to set the right example for others because “the first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example”.

Lack of self-control can also make us to be failures in life, can lead to stealing and robbery, sexual perversion and other moral-faults seen in our society today, we should all learn to run from these defects mentioned in this book.

Finally we should always think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. (Hebrew 10: 24).

CHAPTER NINE

HELP ONE ANOTHER ALWAYS TO ACHIEVE THIS AIM

At times we may find it difficult to be understanding, towards fellow Christians who are struggling to show self-control in an area that gives us no troubles but people differ by nature. Some are easily ruled by emotions, others are not. Some find it comparatively easy to control themselves, self-control posing no great problem, others have more difficulty. Yet, remember “a struggling person is not a bad person”.

Just few things in the world are more powerful than positive push. A smile… a word of optimism and hope… A ‘you can do it’ when things are tough.

Fellow Christians need our understanding and compassion. Our own happiness is involved as we continue to show mercy toward those still struggling to increase their display of self – control. We can see that from Jesus words recorded at “Mathew 5: 7” blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.

Never do we want to misjudge a fellow Christian who may on some occasion fail to manifest the Christian personality. How encouraging to know that in addition of seeing these that we may have failed. God sees these many times when we did not, even if all of these went unnoticed by fellow Christians it is most comforting to keep in mind the words of psalm 130:3 “If thou Lord, keep record of our sins, who could escape being condemned”?

To be Pleasing to God, each of us much cultivate self-control, but we can assure of the help of our Christian brothers. While each of us must bear his own burden of responsibility, We are urged to help one another to cope with weaknesses {Galatians 6:2-5} We can treasure the parent, mate or friend who prevents us from going places we should not go, from seeing things we should not do. He is helping us to display self-control, the ability to say no and to mean it!

Many Christians may be in accord with what we have considered up to this point about self-control, but they may feel that they personally have much room for improvement; they would like to display self-control more fully, to the extent that they believe it can reasonably be expected of imperfect humans. Do you feel that way? What, then can you do in the way of cultivating this aspect of the fruitage of God’s spirit? And how can your doing so help you to reach you long – term objectives as a Christian?

TO HAVE ETERNAL LIFE EXERCISE SELF CONTROL

Before making a dedication to God, many of us had to make significant, acceptable to God, we followed the apostle Paul’s counsel to Christians, “put away the old personality which conforms to your former course and which is being corrupted, according to God’s will in true righteousness and loyalty” {Ephesians 4: 22 – 24} in other words, before saying yes as respect to dedication to God, we had to say no to an unacceptable former way of life.

Certain features of the old personality that prospective Christians must put away are directly condemned by God’s word. Paul enumerated some in his letter to the Corinthians, saying “Neither fornicators nor Idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor greedy persons, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortionists will inherit God’s kingdom.” He then showed that first century Christians made necessary personality changes, adding yet that is what some of you were, 1 Corinthians 6: 9 – 11.

Paul suggested that additional changes might also be necessary, “all things are lawful for me, but not all things are advantageous” {1 Corinthians 6: 12} thus many today who desire to be God children see the need of saying no even to things that although lawful are of no advantage or are of little lasting value. These may be time consuming and could sidetrack them from pursuing things of greater importance.

Dedication of God is made willingly not grudgingly as if it entailed a huge sacrifice, dedicated Christians agree with Paul, who said after he became a follower of Christ “on account of Jesus Christ I have taken the loss of all things and I consider them as a lot of refuse, that I may gain Christ” {Philippians 3:8} Paul gladly said No to continue to say Yes to God.

Paul exercised self-control in running his spiritual race and was finally able to say. “I have fought the good fight, I have run the course to the finish, I have observed the faith from this time on there is reserved for me the crown righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me as a reward in that day, yet not only to me, but also to all those who have loved his manifestation” {2 Timothy 4: 7- 8} will we someday make a similar expression? We will, if in faith we exercise self control while running our Christian race without let up and through to completion.

IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE TO HAVE THE SPIRIT OF SLEF-CONTROL?

YES! It is very possible to have control over ourselves, but then we should also know that is not by our own power. Remember that with God all things are possible. So we must learn to trust God at all times and pray to Him for the Spirit of self-control.

We must go to God in prayer, in good and bad times. Especially when we feel the whole world has rejected us. Or when our parents, elders, guidance gets on our nerves, or when we are lonely and heartbroken.

We must also learn to cultivate self-control when someone wrongs us. And for some youths; When we fail exams, and see those we are better than, gaining admission before us, may be getting jobs before us or even advancing in life ahead of us. Please brothers and sisters we should learn to cultivate the spirit of self-control, I remember this “Ibo” saying that goes like these “Ebe onye oso lulu, ka onye ije ga elu”, Which means “where someone gets while running, the same place, someone walking gets to”, I guess this wise proverb explains it all and I pray you learn from it.

We should also apply this principle even when we can’t afford the latest fashion in vogue or buy food to eat, and remember when we are tempted with all these we should remember, “God’s will must always be our will”. For the will of God will never take us where the grace of God cannot keep us always bear this in mind.

And remember He alone has good plans for us. If it was not so, He wouldn’t have said so or even created us in the first place, or have paid the price of His son for our redemption.

Please note; and bear in mind that we are drawn into sin by our own will.

However there is a ‘KEY’ TO SELF-CONTROL, which is WISDOM.

WISDOM: In “Acts 24: 25”, Apostle Paul reasoning with Felix about righteousness and self-control and the judgement to come called for ‘wisdom’. In like manner, the Lord is reasoning with us about self-control from the wisdom expressed in the Book of “proverbs 2: 10 –11” which quote; “When wisdom enters your heart, your knowledge will give you pleasure. Your insight and understanding will protect you”.

We must learn to listen to God, so we can have the wisdom to do the right things at all times.

God calls all young people to trust in Him with all their hearts, and He will show us the right way to follow.

We are warned and told never to rely on what we think we know, and remember the Lord on everything we do and he will show us the right way “Proverbs 3: 5- 6”.

CHAPTER TEN

ACT OF SELF-CONTROL IS BEEN GOOD

A person that exercise self control, watch him or her, that person must have the spirit of God inside, A clean and pure heart which makes God to dwell inside his or her heart this makes the person a Good man. The Hebrew and Greek words translated “self control” In the bible literally denote that a person has “power” or “control over himself or herself”. They often convey the thought of restraining oneself from doing bad. But it is obvious that a measure of self-control is also required if we are to use our bodies in doing good works, the natural tendency of imperfect humans is to do wrong so we have a two-fold struggle {Ecclesiastes 7:29,8:11} While refraining from doing bad, we must also compel ourselves to do good in fact controlling our body in order to do good in fact controlling our body in order to do good is one of the best ways to avoid doing bad.

Clearly self control is vital if we are to follow through on our dedication to God we need to pray as David did” create in me even a pure heart O God, and put within me a new spirit a steadfast spirit {Psalm 51:10} we can meditate on the benefits of avoiding things that are morally wrong or physically debilitating. Think of the possible harm of not avoiding such things. Serious health problems, disturbed relationships, even premature death on the other hand, think of the many benefits of holding to the way of Life that God prescribes. Being realistic, however, we must not forget that our heart is treacherous. {Jeremiah 17: 9} we must be resolute in resisting its attempts to downplay the seriousness of upholding God’s standards.

Most of us know from experience that the unwilling flesh often tries to extinguish the zeal of a willing spirit, take for example God takes delight in the willingness of humans to participate in this life giving work {Psalm 110: 3, Mathew 24: 14} for most of us learning to preach publicly did not come so easily. It required and perhaps still requires that we control our body, “Pummel it and Lead it as a slave” instead of allowing it to dictate the course of least resistance. 1 Corinthians 9: 16, 27, 1 Thessalonians 2: 2.

IN EVERYTHING YOU DO

The Bible counsel that we should exercise self-control in everything we do, this indicates that more is involved than just controlling our temper and refraining from immoral conduct. We may feel that we have achieved self-control in the areas, and if so, we can indeed be grateful. Yet, how about other areas of life in which the need for self-control may not be so obvious? To illustrate, suppose we live in a relatively affluent country with a high standard of living. Would it not be wise to learn to say no to unnecessary spending? Parents do well to teach their children not to buy whatever they see just because it is available, is appealing or is financially within their reach of course, if such instruction is to be effective parents must set the proper example {Luke 10}.

Learning to do something without been strengthen our will power, it can also enhance appreciation for the material things we process and can make us more sympathetic towards those who must do without something’s, not by his or her choice, but out of necessity, true a modest course runs counter to such popular attitudes as “be good to yourself” or “you deserve the best the world of advertising promotes the desires for instant gratification. But it does so for the sake of its own commercial profit, this situation may impede our efforts to display self-control.

If we have difficulty distinguishing between what we want and what we truly need, it might be helpful to take steps to ensure that we do not act irresponsibility. A good example is if we desire to counteract learning towards uncontrolled spending, we may want to resolve not to buy any credit or when shopping, we may take only a set amount of money. Recall that Paul said “Godly devotion along with self sufficiency” is “a means of great gain” he reasoned “we have brought nothing into the world and neither can we carry anything out. So hearing sustenance and covering, we shall be content with these things.” {1 Timothy 6: 6- 8} are we? Learning to live a simple life, free from excess baggage of self-indulgence in what ever from calls for willpower and self-control; it is though a lesson worth learning.

Attending Christian meetings, assemblies and conventions also involves a particular manifestation of self control for instance, that quality is necessary lest we let our mind wander during the programme {proverbs 1:5} it may take self control not to disturb others by whispering to our neighbours rather than giving the speaker our full attention adjusting our schedule so that we can arrive on time may require self control. Further self control may be needed to seta side time prepare for the meetings and then to participate in them.

Exercising self-control in small things strengthens our ability to do so in larger matter. {Luke 6:10} thus how find it is to discipline ourselves to read God’s word and bible publications regularly, studying them and medicating on what we learn how wise it is to discipline ourselves concerning inappropriate jobs, friendships, attitudes and personal habits or to discipline ourselves to say no to activities that could rob us of precious time for God’s service “staying bush” in God’s service is certainly a fine protection against things that could draw us away from knowing more about Jesus Christ.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

BE COURAGEOUS THROUGH SELF-CONTROL

A newborn infant is noted for self-control. A Pamphlet by experts in child behaviour explains “self control does not happen automatically or suddenly, infants and toddlers need parental guidance and support to begin the process of learning self control with parents guiding the process of self control it increase throughout the school years”. A study of four year old children revealed that those who had learned to exercise a degree of self-control “generally grew up to be better-adjusted, more popular, adventurous, confident and dependable teenagers”. The ones who had not begun learning this lesson were “were more likely to be lonely, easily frustrated and stubborn. They buckled under stress and shied away from challenges Obviously, to become a well-adjusted adult, a child must learn to exercise self-control.

Likewise, if we are to become full-grown Christians, we must learn to manifest self-control. A lack of it indicates that we are still spiritual babies. The Bible admonishes us to “become full grown in powers of understanding” {1 Corinthians 14:20}. Our goal is to “attain to the oneness in the faith and in the accurate knowledge of Son of God, to a full grown man. To the measure of stature that belongs to the fullness of Christ” why? “In order that we should no longer be babies tossed about as by waves and carried hither and thither by every wind of teaching by means of trickery of men, by means of cunning in contriving error” {Ephesians 4:13-14} Clearly learning to exercise self control is vital to our spirituality.

CHAPTER TWELVE

IS SELF-CONTROL A WEAKNESS OR STRENGTH?

Self-control gives birth to humility. Before acquiring the spirit of self-control, we have to get rid of every proud and assertive spirit in us. By doing so, we allow the spirit of humility to dwell in us.

The humble and meek tend to be seen as feeble, timid, or fawning. But is a genuine humility and not weakness, and pride and actually a strength…

Self-Controlled people, on the other hand, try to view themselves as been honestly and objectively, acknowledging their imperfections and their lowly position before God. (1 Peter 5: 6) they recognize and even appreciate, in the superior qualities they see in others.

Hence, they do not become bitter with envy or consumed by jealously, it stands to reason, therefore that, genuine humility fosters good relationships with others and contributes to emotional security and stability that helps in cultivating self-control.

Consider the example of Jesus. Before coming to earth, He was a powerful spirit creature in heaven. And when on earth, He was a perfect, sinless Man (John 17: 5, 1 Peter 2: 21, 22). He had unmatched ability, intelligence and knowledge. Yet, He never showed off but always remained humble. (Philippians 2: 6) He even washed the feet of His apostles on one occasion, and He took a genuine interest in little Children. Jesus also said, “Whoever will humble himself like this young children is the one that is the greatest in the Kingdom of God”.
YES, in the eyes of Jesus and of His Father true greatness is borne of humility, not of pride (James 4:10). And for you to be humble you need to cultivate the spirit of self-control first, because it gives birth to humility.

HUMILITY IS A STRENGTH:

Although a model of humility, He courageously spoke the truth and had absolutely no fear of man. Hence, he even earned the respect of some of his opposes. But Jesus was never domineering. Rather, by humility, kindness, and love, he warmly appealed to people, thus winning hearts in a way that the proud never can. Even today millions loyally submit to Christ out of deep respect for Him.

God’s word encourages humility because the lowly in heart readily accept counsel and are a delight to teach.

The Apostles, and some early Christian teachers like Apollo, were happy to adjust their viewpoint when presented with accurate new information “Acts 18: 24- 26”. And they were unafraid to ask questions, whereas the proud often refrain from doing so, for fear of having their ignorance exposed.

Some of us might consider ourselves as religious elites of our own time, instead of humbly listening to Christ’s teachings and His followers, they sneered at them and tried to find fault with them. Thus, their pride will surely keep them in spiritual darkness.

The Bible likens God to a potter and humans to clay, “Isaiah 64:8”. Humility helps a person to be like soft clay in God’s hands, someone He can mould into a desirable vessel. Whereas the haughty are like dry, heard clay that can only be crushed.

An infamous example of these is the proud Pharaoh of ancient Egypt who defied God at the cost of his life. Pharaoh’s demise well illustrates the proverb; “Pride is before a crash and a haughty spirit before stumbling”. (Proverbs 16: 18).

The aforementioned does not imply that God’s people never struggle with pride. Jesus’ Apostles, for example, often argued over who was the greatest among them (Luke 22: 24- 27). Still, they were not consumed by pride but listened to Jesus and eventually changed their attitude.

Finally “the result of humility and the fear of God is riches, glory and life”, (Proverbs 22: 4). Much sound reasons we have for cultivating self-control! Not only is it a strong and endearing quality but it also helps us gain God’s Favour and the reward of everlasting life. (2 Samuel 22: 28, James 4: 10).

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

FINALLY CULTIVATING SELF – CONTROL

To contribute self-control we need divine help and it is available, God’s word like, a perfect mirror, shows us where we need to makes personal changes, and it provides counsel on how to do so {James 1: 22- 25} a loving brotherhood stands ready to offer help too. Christian elders and leaders should show understanding in offering personal assistance.

God himself gives freely of his Holy Spirit; we ask for it in prayer if ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children. How much more shall your heavenly father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him? {Luke 11:13} and also likewise the spirit also help our infirmities. For we know not what we should pray for as we ought to, but the spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groaning which cannot be uttered. {Romans 8:26} therefore let us joyfully use this provisions. The suggestions on be courageous through self control may help us in that.

How comforting to know that God values our efforts when we try to please him, this should motivate us to continue to strive for more self-control. Regardless of how often we may stumble we must never give up in our efforts. “The righteous one may fall even seven times and he will certainly get up {Proverbs 24:16} each time we score a victory, we have reason to be pleased with ourselves, we can also be sure that Jehovah is pleased with us. One witness says that before dedicating his life to God, each time he was successful in refraining from smoking for a week, he rewarded himself by buying something helpful with the money self control has help him to save.

Above all, we should remember that self-control involves the mind and emotions, we can see this from Jesus words “Everyone that keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” {Matthew 5:28, James 1: 14- 15} He who has learned to control his mind and feelings will find it easier to control his whole body. Let us therefore strengthen our determination to avoid not only doing wrong but even thinking about it. Should wrong thoughts arise reject them immediately. We can free from temptation by prayerfully keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus {I Timothy 6: 11, II Timothy 2: 22, Hebrews 4: 15- 16}. As we do our best, we will be following the counsel of Psalm 55:22, “cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee, He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved”.

Finally, self-control will look so easy to you when you follow the guidelines in the book. Then, you find out that self-control is the ability to do the right thing when no one else will know, and you will not receive any personal benefit from doing the right thing.

And always bear in mind that for any man to gain access to success in life and for you to have the best from God you must accept the fact that you do not only need a guide or the help of man. The greatest guide you need is your WILL. Allow your will power to supervise you, to wake you up and rise to your responsibilities.

Thank you and God bless you as you begin to work towards a better you in Jesus Name – AMEN.

Thank you very much for reading this piece of message from “Agina Victor Counted”, and I pray may the good Lord be with you as you begin to work towards a better you, and start from onwards to put in practise what you’ve learnt from this book. I also pray that God grant you the spirit of self-control on whatever you are going to lay your hands to do from onwards in Jesus Name, Amen!

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

EPILOGUE

You have finished this book what have you read?

Simply a series of practical and workable techniques, for living a successful life. You have read a formula of belief and practice which should help you win victory over defeat.

Before we begin work on cultivating self-control, I would like to suggest some vital paradigm that will greatly increase the value you will receive from this material.

First I would recommend that you not “see” this material as a book, in the sense that it is something to read once and put on shelf. You may choose to read it completely through once for a sense of the whole. But this material is designed to be a companion in the continual process of change and growth.

As you progress to deeper levels of understanding you can go back time to the principle contained in this book and work to expand your knowledge, skill and desire to achieve self-control.

I remember examples of many people of different age blankets and of different sex, who have believed and applied the suggestions given here and it has really changed their lives and worked for them positively, these testimonies have been told to demonstrate that by using the same methods you can obtain the same results.

But reading is not enough, if you really hope to attain a successful life, please go back and practise persistently the suggestions given. Keep at it, the result will come.

Please note: “In regard to this book, I have but to say. I believe the Bible is the best gift God has given to man. All the good Saviour gave to the world was communicated through this Book ‘Holy Bible’. But for this Book we could now know right from wrong. All things most desirable for man’s welfare, here and hereafter, are to be found portrayed in it”.

I have written this book in a sincere desire to help you. It will give me great happiness to know that the book has helped you. I have absolute confidence and belief in the principles outlined in this book. They have been tested in the laboratory of spiritual experience and practical demonstration. They work when worked.

Nevertheless always bear in mind that “prayer is a sincere, sensible, and affectionate pouring out of the soul to God, through Christ, in the strength and assistance of the Spirit, for such things as God has promised”. Things like the spirit of self-control and other gifts of the Holy Spirit.

In addition to all these, I would suggest that you shift your paradigm of your own involvement in this book from the role of learner to that of teacher. Take an inside-out approach, and read with the purpose in mind of sharing or discussing what you learn with someone else within 48 hours after you learn it. As you openly, honestly share what you learn with others, you may be surprised to find that negative labels or perceptions others may have of you tend to disappear. Those you teach will see you as a changing, growing person, and will be more inclined to be helpful and supportive as you work, perhaps together, to cultivate the spirit of self-control.
We may never meet in person, but in this book we have met. We are spiritual friends. I pray for you. God will help you, as you cultivate the spirit of self-control in you marriage, worked place, family, school, private live and everything you do and so believe and live successfully.

Finally as you have finished reading this book please bear in mind that knowledge will make you to be acknowledged but ignorance will make you to be ignored. As a God fearing, creative, innovative and inventive visionary, I believe life for me is about a seat of vision, with the desire to achieve and the determination to build a future generation of God-fearing, responsible and inventive entrepreneurs. To this end, I shall consider it a privilege if given the opportunity to pray with you and believing that God will release the spirit of self-control upon his children.

AGINA VICTOR COUNTED

CULTIVATING SELF-CONTROL (by VICTOR COUNTED)

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

CULTIVATING SELF - CONTROL .

CULTIVATING SELF - CONTROL .

CULTIVATING SELF-CONTROL (by AGINA VICTOR COUNTED)

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